Home For Fiction – Blog

A – formerly metal 😉 – Swedish band sings “fear is the weakness in all of us”. But they’ve got it wrong. It’s not fear that is the weakness; it’s what it pushes us to do (or not). We mostly do something we wouldn’t (or leave undone something we’d like to) because of our fear of nonconformity. Usually we are deathly afraid of doing something unexpected. We are paralyzed in the thought of doing something our parents and teachers, our peers and society, wouldn’t anticipate. Fear, nonconformity, and action are all interconnected.

About the Child who Was Frightened (and still Did the Right Thing)

In my article on memory and writing, I mentioned how memorable experiences are both easier and more valuable to remember. There is one experience from my childhood that I remember quite vividly, precisely because it was memorable. Why it was memorable is important for today’s topic.

Fear, Nonconformity, and (In)action Are Instinctive Reactions…

I was five or six years old. It was a fine spring day, and my mother had taken me to a playground. She sat somewhere to read, while I went a bit further away to explore the swings and the slides, the teeter-totter and the sandboxes. However, I soon noticed a more interesting contraption: a pirate ship made of iron and wood. There were a couple of bit older girls playing there already, and they welcomed me.

We played together for a while, until at some point a group of about ten boys showed up. With shouts and yells they began pouring onto the ship, telling me and the two girls that we had five seconds to abandon it. They began counting.

…So Your Instincts Better Be Good

I swear, although I’m a writer, I’m not making any of this up. I remember being “at the helm” when this happened (a rotatable iron handle near the stern). My two playmates hastily climbed over the side, obeying the command. I recall feeling intense fear. In retrospect, I’m not sure what I was afraid of, what I thought the boys would do to me. And yet, I also remember feeling an overwhelming sense of injustice.

As the silly boys kept counting – it felt as if it’d lasted forever – I felt determined to disobey them. I was scared to death, but my sense of indignation was even greater. I clasped the helm, and stayed there until they all shouted “five!” with untold enthusiasm. I felt hands (two or four, that I don’t remember) grabbing me, and someone said “you’re not going anywhere then, you’re our prisoner!”

I do have a short blank in my memory between those moments and a few ones later, when some grownups (alerted by the two girls) came to intervene. I’m pretty sure if something embarrassing had happened (like peeing my pants) I would’ve remembered it. After a while I went to play somewhere else, then we left.

Fear, Nonconformity, Inaction: Perpetuating the Problem

Most problems, whether personal or societal, occur as a result of inaction (or erroneous action, in other cases). If you recall the article on unhappy relationships, much of the misery involved is related to fear, nonconformity, and inaction born precisely out of fear. It is the same with virtually every other aspect of your life.

The thing is, when one ignores the problem, the problem doesn’t ignore them. As long as you don’t face your fear – “the best way out is always through” – it will continue to haunt you. My choosing that word wasn’t accidental. Fear is my area of expertise, not as a sociologist or a psychologist, but as a Gothic fiction specialist. And I can assure you of this: it might be the monster that pushes your body to be afraid, but it is your mind that makes it. And, more crucially, it is your mind that controls what you can do in that state.