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“Emotional IQ” is one of those phrases people in marketing and recruiting love to throw around. Many of them might not even know what they’re talking about. For writers – but also readers – emotional IQ in writing is more than important; it’s crucial.

By “emotional IQ” we generally mean the ability to recognize emotions (our own as well as others’) by noticing patterns and expressions. These can belong to various categories:

• Visual. For instance, noticing the way someone’s eyes move, or the way their lips are puckered; body language, in general.
• Aural. Think of someone’s speech, including tempo, hesitation, pitch, etc.
• Textual. The kind of language we use – including syntax, register, and other such details – can reveal a lot about our emotional inner worlds.

For our context, that is, emotional IQ in writing, you might think the last one is the most important. To some extent you’d be right, but don’t neglect the other two. Visuality and sounds can be major aspects in narrative. If, for example, your goal is to write realistic characters, you’d want their emotional expressions to be subtle, rich, and believable. Visual and aural cues, then, are important.

The Importance of Emotional IQ in Writing Fiction

As I’ve stated many times on the blog, writing fiction is about emotions, not facts. I once had a discussion with a friend who has recently begun writing fiction in a more systematic way, and he expressed his surprise to hear that. He said he’d always thought writing a novel is about a story, from point A to point B.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Not only is a novel a non-linear affair – point A to point B, one second, then one second – but it’s first and foremost about affect. Indeed, it’s precisely because it is about affect, emotions, reflection, that it’s a non-linear affair.

A novel is about making someone feel something. The story is only the medium; the necessary evil, in a way.

And so, it goes without saying that displaying high emotional IQ in your writing is a crucial part of delivering an engaging narrative.

What Is Emotional IQ in a Novel?

Let’s get practical for a moment. In graspable terms, to approach your writing from a high emotional IQ perspective means the following. I’ll divide them into two grand categories, which we can call “Understanding” and “Applying”. Self-evidently perhaps, the former means how you read emotions – on yourself and especially others – while the latter refers to deploying certain emotive strategies in your writing.

Understanding Emotions

The list is not exhaustive, obviously enough, but it can give you a direction.

• You understand the various ways a certain situation or event can affect people, and you also notice the subtle hues and gradations. Not only do we react differently to the same event, but with varied intensity.
• You are good at understanding contradiction and other complex factors of human psychology. “The lady doth protest too much, methinks“. If someone claims a certain emotion, a high emotional IQ allows you to notice discrepancies and grasp they might be insincere (consciously or subconsciously).
• You are good at reading visual and aural cues. A person’s smile can hide many emotions, and so can the way they stop before uttering a certain word.

Applying Emotions

Once again, this list is not exhaustive. It’s only meant as an example of how you can take advantage of your emotional IQ when writing fiction. First we’ll see the brief list, and then I’ll show you some examples.

• Thanks to your high-level understanding of human emotions – and, more importantly, all the ways we can express them – you can deliver a lot of punch with less effort.
• Your knowledge of visual and aural cues allows you to show rather than tell, imply rather than be explicit. This makes your narrative more subtle, giving you more control.
• You can create realistic characters, who have a vast variety of reactions to the events of your story. If all or most characters react the same way – and in an on/off manner – what’s the point of having characters at all?

Examples of High Emotional IQ in Writing

Let’s now see a few examples – I’ll use excerpts from my own novels. After we spend a moment to ponder on my lack of modesty, I’ll also add I’m doing it because I’m familiar with the text.

Most of my coworkers were too drunk to understand, but Kate did. I noticed her eyes opening wide for a moment, before a mischievous smile was formed on her face.

Most of my coworkers were too drunk to understand, but Kate apparently did. I noticed her eyebrows rising for a short moment, the way a small boat rides a large wave, then falling as a mischievous smile formed on her face like an ocean ripple.

The bottom one is an excerpt from Musings After a Suicide. The top one I revised for the purposes of this example. Notice how, by focusing on the subtle, almost subconscious movement of the eyes, we also increase subtlety in the way the emotion is conveyed. Oh, and also notice how the imagery is reinforced by symbolism.

Here’s another example – this time not a comparative one. Read the excerpt below – from The Perfect Gray – and notice how subtle yet effective the progression is. The key here is the concept of conflict and contradiction.

The sun has fallen under the world now – how long have we been here? – and the youthful face appears a little less masculine, a bit more lunar. Even his smile has acquired some atypical contours, drab and sluggish. It’s still bedazzling, it makes me feel wretched and blissful at the same time, but the intensity has been replaced by the dejected, saturnine realization that things never quite work out as you would’ve wanted them to. There seems to be some fundamental flaw in the fabric of this game: The man evidently lacks the arrogance and stupid optimism required to try any harder, which both makes him interesting to me and assures that the mating ritual is doomed to fail. In any case, I won’t lower myself to show any interest – not knowing whether I’m attracted (not to mention attractive) makes it even harder.

Higher Emotional IQ in Writing Means Higher Affective Power

I’ll say it once more, as I have many times: Affect is everything in fiction-as-art. If you write as an artist but aren’t interested in instigating an affective reaction, something’s wrong.

Consequently, a fiction author needs a high emotional IQ. To some extent, that’s something “you just have”, in the sense you have been raised in a way – and in an environment – that promoted the free expression of emotions, and also, crucially, discussing about emotions. There is only one context where it’s alright to say “Boys Don’t Cry”. In all other cases, boys (and girls, and everyone) can and should cry if they feel like it.

However, emotional IQ is also something you can improve on. How? By paying attention to the world. By experiencing the magic happening all around you, every moment of every day.

As I’ve said before, a good writer must first be a good experiencer. And the link between experiencing and writing is emotional IQ.