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Why Are People Stuck in an Unhappy Relationship?

January 6, 2018

Few things can make one more miserable than being stuck in a bad marriage or in an unhappy relationship. Hours, days, weeks, months, years of emptiness, lack of empathy, lack of intimacy, animosity, hatred. Why on earth would anyone want to stay in such a situation? After all, our time in this world is finite. The scent of cardamom and cinnamon while decorating the Christmas tree, the feeling of waves gently lapping on your feet as you enter the sea, the full moons you admire in the hot August night – endless, don’t they seem? Hard to believe you have 10, 20, maybe 30 of those left before you die. Why would you waste them being with someone that doesn’t love you and, most probably, despises you? Maybe the Bard has the answer:

For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
The oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay,
The insolence of office and the spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover’d country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;

unhappy relationship
Perhaps it’s all a matter of habit, of fearing the change.
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The Grownup Paradox – Am I still a Child?

December 31, 2017

I remember it very vividly: when I was a kid, it really felt there was a threshold between me and the grownups; a curtain, separating me from, presumably, all my hopes, dreams, and desires. I characteristically remember thinking that there would come one day when I would be a grownup. But there is a paradox awaiting there, which I will refer to as the grownup paradox.

grownup paradox
Can grownups play in the sand?
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Fake News, Based on a True Story

December 27, 2017

Why Are There Fake News?

There’s a question that has suddenly become relevant. But just because the question has acquired momentum, it doesn’t mean fake news is a new thing. It’s all about narrativeaffect, and control. Here’s a piece of fake news that’s already a couple of thousand years old: “God comes to earth in the body of his own son [sic], he is crucified, he is resurrected [by his own self, presumably?] and everyone is suddenly absolved [from the fact that a woman supposedly once ate a goddamn apple].

As a narrative, this fake news has a linear progression, but with plenty of intertextuality, which enhances its appeal. Crucially, it also has a personal-experience perspective. It’s not just about some random nameless character in a galaxy far-far away, but about you – yes, you, you sinner! As a result, it has great affective power, and is therefore effective in its mission: To exercise control over the populace.

The Discovered-Manuscript Trope of Gothic Fiction

Whoa, I hear you say. What kind of a leap was that? How did we get from fake news to Gothic fiction? Bare with me, and you’ll see.

Fake news, based on a true story
Fake news, based on a true story
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